Social worker wanted: a job advertisement

We are seeking an enthusiastic, ruthless, and shameless social worker to join our supportive multidisciplinary team of child-snatchers.

The successful candidate will have:

  • The ability to find flaws in any loving and caring parent, and creativity and big imagination to exaggerate his findings and interpret virtually anything as a sign of child abuse or neglect (Here are some real examples of creativity of our prominent workers (see e.g. this link): “The baby turns its face the wrong way when its father washes it. This is the sign that the child did not want to look at its father because it disliked him”
    “The mother is very small. When the daughter grows to become a teenager, the mother will not be able to tackle her”
    “The daughter does not like fish-balls. This is a clear sign of incest”
    “The child eats so fast that it must have been exposed to incest “
    “The child eats so slowly and unwillingly that it must have been the victim of incest”
    “When the son comes home from school he always asks his mom how she is. He demonstrates inappropriate anxiety for the well-being of his mother on a daily basis”)
  • Pseudo-knowledge in psychiatry, so that the candidate would be able to diagnose anybody with some mental illness. It doesn’t have to be precise, of even close to the truth, for we have a team of trusted psychiatrists who for substantial fee will confirm even the most nonsensical and false diagnosis.
  • Strong interpersonal skills, preferably double-sided: the candidate should be able to be rude, irritating, and arrogant while communicating with parents, in order to provoke them and then incriminate them non-cooperation with professionals and having anger-management issues. On the other hand, he should be able to be nice when needed to make a false impression that social workers are well-meaning and really care for children
  • The ability to work within a team, who will always cover up each other. Even if an error is revealed i.e. it was confirmed that the parents whose children had been taken away were innocent, nobody will ever get punished or even made to bring an apology for what they have done.

The following attributes are also desirable:

  • Experience in crimes against humanity
  • Understanding of methods of Inquisition, Nazis, and the Russian KGB, and ability to implement them in social work
  • Ability to silence his conscience and being absolutely fine with the fact that he is making his living off false accusations and people’s tragedy, traumatising parents and children and morally crippling them for the rest of their lives. However, the latter is non-essential, if the candidate is stupid enough to believe that he really helps children by taking them away from their loving parents and placing them with strangers, in whose hands the risk of abuse, neglect, and death is much higher.

Please send your application to: …

Well, you can send you application to Social Services in countries like UK, USA, Norway, Finland, Sweden, etc, where Social Services are lavishly funded by their governments. If you love the idea of making money by destroying innocent families, they will be happy to hear from you.

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Published in: on 05/04/2012 at 07:29  Leave a Comment  

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